Originally Posted by gelfling

Dear Paragon,

I want to give it to you straight. My 24 year old son is an alcoholic. My husband is an alcoholic. The pain I went through with my husband is totally different than what I go through with my son.

I didn't fear for my husband's life. I prayed he would die. Enough pain?

My son...My life. My joy in birth and until to now. When he confessed to being an alcoholic, my world collapsed. The pain was as if someone told me he was dead. My heart felt as if it was going to explode. I know when he slips because he doesn't call and I fear for his life and wait for the phone to ring. I'm waiting for the cops or the hospital or the morgue to call to tell me he's dead.

He's my blood and only child. I know he doesn't want to hurt me and I want to believe he loves me when he calls, but I know the dealings of the disease and it's association with deceit and cunning.

You may say you love those around you, but when you continually hurt them, they will question your love. Not because you're an addict/alcoholic, but because it's not you talking most of the time. Did that make sense? I think you know what I mean.

Please, I beg you to get help. Anyone here and elsewhere on the site will do anything they can to stand by you and be here when you need someone. Don't do it for anyone but yourself.

Love and blessings to you, Kathy