Need a plan before he comes back
I have been reading on this forum all day to educate myself into awareness. Thank you SR and everyone on it for creating such a wonderful online community.
Sparing you the long details, my boyfriend was sober for awhile and working his program, going to therapy, on Suboxone and Prozac, meeting, etc. but relapsed about two months ago and has relapsed again twice since then. He's suicidal, depressed and hopeless. When I ask him what's wrong, he says that he's very sad and he's tired of the fight.
SR, please tell me what you think my options are. Like I said, I've been reading all day, and one thing that stuck for me was from one user who said that rock bottom could be just a circumstance away, stop blocking the doorway. I am very willing to stop my codependent behaviors, one day at a time.
My question is, is there an in between ground? Are there only two options in this case- kick him out and break up with him or let him in? Please bear with me, I am still new at this. What I mean is, I want to stop enabling him, and I don't want him back in this house until he's sober. But I also can't stand the pain of losing him either (which led me to inadvertently to enabling behavior). I want him in my life, but sober and recovering. What can I do? Do we have to break it up entirely, or can I love him from a distance until he hits his bottom and then recovers on his own?