I read your post the same way as artsoul did James.
As I just said to someone else here, if all it took was 30 days sobriety for recovery we'd all have done that.
I tried many times, stopping for a while, then going back - the results were always the same, James.
I missed a few basic facts all those times - my relationship with alcohol was interminably and irrevocably toxic...and my life was so good... because I wasn't drinking.
I wish you well...but I hope you reconsider.
D