James6

Hi all,

I posted last weekend at week three of a month of abstaining. Tomorrow marks thirty days of more than not drinking. It was thirty days of soul searching and deep reflection about who I am and who I'd like to be. The community at this forum is incredible. I think I've read every post in the newbie and alcoholism forums going back to the beginning of the summer. Although you couldn't possibly know it, I've had very important conversations with so many of you. Your openness and desires to recover are truly inspiring.

It is great to know that this community exists if I realize I've made the wrong choice and decide that a life of sobriety is better for my family and me. I wish you all well on your journeys.



James

IndaMiricale

So glad to have you in the family..

And you couldnt be more right. Recovery and sobriety is wayyyy more than just putting down the drink, or the drug...

Stick around and only more great things will continue to unfold for you, and you can help others on this incrediable journey..

IndaMiricale

OOppps and congrats on your months thats AWESOME

Sapling

Cool....Join the party...We can have fun and live without alcohol!

nonblondechef

James listen to my good friend, Inda. He knows of what he speaks. Helping others on this incredible journey is what we do. The rewards are indescribable. Congratulations on your milestone - keep going forward!

artsoul

Congratulations on your 30 days! I'd love to talk you out of going back to drinking, though.... (or did I read your post wrong?) Do you have a plan going forward?

Dee74

I read your post the same way as artsoul did James.

As I just said to someone else here, if all it took was 30 days sobriety for recovery we'd all have done that.

I tried many times, stopping for a while, then going back - the results were always the same, James.

I missed a few basic facts all those times - my relationship with alcohol was interminably and irrevocably toxic...and my life was so good... because I wasn't drinking.

I wish you well...but I hope you reconsider.

D

Hevyn

James - Please check in if you need us. We'll be here.

zeroptzero

Your post makes me sad, but hey, such is life. I too have had my struggles thinking that maybe I don't "fit in" with the no alcohol ever crowd. I hope that you continue your soul searching because you just might find that it is not so much that you desire to be "normal" - you are just desperately trying to find a way to keep alcohol in your life. Why? Is it that important? Is it worth risking the gains/positives you have seen this past month?
I wish you the best, I truly do. Maybe you can beat the odds and just have enough alcohol in your life to make you feel normal without any negative consequences. If you figure out that formula, share it with the rest of us!

James6

The game plan is to see what life is like as someone who doesn't identify as a drinker. I quit drinking for 30 because my therapist thought it would help with the anxiety in my life that ramped up to ten this year (new baby, more responsibility at work, buying a house, and the basic midlife crisis that comes when you realize you're much closer to fifty than twenty). I came to SR because I wanted to be honest with myself and explore the possibility that alcohol has become something out of my power.

I think I'm ok. I've made it through a bunch of tests this month- a wedding, a handful of dinners with wine, and weekly band practices. That said, I told my wife tonight that I was going to do ten more days. There is something about forty days.

I hope I'm at the point where I can jump back on the wagon if I don't feel comfortable. While I was almost never getting drunk with a capital D, I was certainly drinking one or two more than I'd want my daughter seeing as a model as she grows up.

I genuinely appreciate the concern and I know you guys are here if I realize my optimism is actually my AV deluding me by whispering in my ear that I'm not an alcoholic.

I really meant that thank you before. You guys pushed my thinking about drinking, addiction, and sobriety. Before coming to SR I would never have considered sobriety. I now consider it a real option if I don't like how I'm living.

James