I've been where you are--trying to reason with the addict. It doesn't work. The drug is their best friend, their mistress. You can't reason with an active addict. It does nothing for them, and will drive you crazy. They come up with ridiculous excuses and explanations, and it just drives us nuts. It makes us doubt ourselves. There is such a disconnect between reality (what we see) and what they are telling us. Have you read Codependent No More yet? It was eye opening to me.