Old 10-06-2012, 06:37 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Hopeworks
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Join Date: Jan 2011
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Well done!

And while your powerful boundaries were clearly presented and he absolutely must have been stunned that you completely blocked his obviously calculated and manipulative attempt to slyly get you to allow alcohol back into your lives do not for a moment think that he is persuaded to stop... yet anyway.

However... you clearly have given him some food for thought and now his choices will be "informed" at least. Sadly, the alcoholic voice is now in the picture and unless he really gears up and gets back into a program things will progressively deteriorate in the coming days and weeks.

The only other thing that I did with my XA was sit down with him and we had a very clear and agreed upon relapse prevention plan in place. If he were to drink I was to immediately transport him to the detox unit and residential recovery program that he used the last time he relapsed.

We put all of this in writing in an agreement that he signed.

The day that he drank I drove to where he was (trying to get a drink at that moment at a bowling alley at 11:00 am) and drove straight to the rehab. He kept threatening to jump out at 50 mph and I said ... "so jump". I was pretty angry at that moment...lol.

I got him all the way to the rehab and he angrily got out and walked right past the door to the bar down the street and was off and running.

I packed his stuff (for the 12th time) and put it in storage and that was that.

The contract was useless once the "beast was unleashed" but signing the "no alcohol" boundary and relapse plan was for my benefit and not his. It gave me the "legal" right to pack his junk and move him out if he drank.

I have no idea if it would have held up in court but he never contested it because he was trashed at the bar and knew he had signed it.

Just a thought to avoid a lengthy eviction process with an active alcoholic.
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