I also find that grasping and implementing the concepts is not enough.
I find my 'emotional' self scrambling hard, very hard to 'catch up'.
Sigh,
Having been around this program for as long as I have I have recently realized that it is all a process. My "emotional self" is coming around. I have found myself following my son's lead. The more he lives in his addiction the more I find myself progressing in my recovery. He is living, breathing proof that I have no power. He has single handedly shut up the committee...he did it, not me.
Me? I came from dysfunction and lived most of my adult life in dysfunction. Fighting, drinking, drugs, holes in walls, slammed doors, broken dishes, ruined dinners...all in the name of trying to get my needs met. I am ripe for the pickin' when my son tries to place blame. All I have in my defense is living the right way today.
MG said something about putting all of her eggs in one basket. That is something that, even thinking about it, makes me anxious. I am a "one foot out the door" kind of gal. I always have an egg or two stashed. I have no idea what that is about. Healthy? Unhealthy? Somewhere I learned not to trust anyone 100% with my "self".
Hugs,
JT