Until you start treating your disease, you will have little defense against the tricks your mind will try to get another drink. It's relentless. Try AA. It works.
During one of my drinking evenings, for whatever reason I decided to end it all (this was becoming a pattern towards the end). I started slicing my wrist. But I only had a lady's razor, which wasn't very effective. I still have these sad little scars from that. And yes, I drank the next day.
Get some support