1. When I was 15 I was drinking alone in my bedroom, I don’t remember how the happened but I broke my mirror on my dresser and sliced my arm open and had to get 13 stiches. Drinking in your house really isn’t any safer and you can still easily injure yourself. I’ve woken up covered in bruises, with 2nd degree burns, cuts etc…none of which I remember getting. So unless you lock yourself in a padded cell you can still easily do damage drinking alone & that’s not even taking into account the internal damage you’re doing. Not to mentioned drinking at home doesn’t mean you’ll get any less drunk in fact it probably means you’ll get MORE drunk because you don’t have a bar tender somewhat controlling your intake or any friends or others around to tell you or force you to see that enough is enough
2. I’m sure you you already realize you’re drunk but it doesn’t matter when drinking because no matter how drunk we are it doesn’t stop us from drinking more that’s why we’re alcoholic so even know you’re drunk from some App won’t stop you from drinking. If it did you’d stop after 3 or 4.
3. You are your own worst enemy when it comes to “pressure” to drink. If you truly could control your drinking or didn’t want to drink more no “friend” could pressure you to consume more alcohol.
You have staples in your head. You can’t remember how they go there. You were lucky that you didn’t get more seriously injured. You need to ask yourself what it’s going to take for you to realize WOW I have a problem and stop letting your alcoholic voice be in the drivers seat.
Go to AA, read stories here, get a big book just read up about alcoholism and justification as much as you possibly can, I’ve found it helpeful when my own alcoholic voice tries to justify everything. Which it does ALL THE TIME but I’m learning to talk back to it. Sometimes I literally right out how I’m feeling and reply to myself as I would on these forums. Maybe it makes me a little crazy but it helps.
PS- I am having a super hard time telling my parents too but I think we both know it's something we need to do