I went thru a period of deep depression at about 9 yrs sober. My wife left me dog died and my parents died. This happend in about 6 mos.
I went to a lot of AA but this did not help, I did not want to drink but putting a gun in my mouth seemed like a good idea!? My Stinkin thikin really returned.
I finally listened to some instruction and found a doctor that was familiar with alcoholism and the long term mental effects, after lots of therapy and some medication I have been able to cope with life on life's terms.
I continue to be sober 9 years later. Today I can say I am Happy Joyous & Free. Which all is I wanted when I got sober. I continue to practice the principle of AA and attend the fellowship. There is nothing more freeing than 1 alcoholic sharing experience, strength, and hope with another.
I hope you find the solution and I will keep you in prayer.