Hi MM. I remember your post a while back and your desire to stop :>
Had she been drinking too?
You sound great sober and are probably great tipsy too - makes us feel invincible (seen the ad with the super hero?). But as I said from your previous posts, you sound like you want all this to stop.
Just be you and see what happens - "it's" not that scary :>
Other than that, I could give you some free French lessons ;>
Good luck.