Co-incidence?
So, when I fell off the wagon, I thought "this is the end".
However, i've just "woken up" so to speak after what was essentially a week long bender, and I find myself having managed to somehow gain the affections of an amazing 9/10 French girl.
I'm now terrified - i've set the bar too high by being drunk and having the courage to say/do things that got her attention, yet last night I couldn't even kiss her after a date. It's my birthday tonight and i'm scared i'll resort to drinking for courage again, despite the incredibly high risk involved in taking that route.
This seems contrary to everything i've learned - how did I manage to get this girl while being drunk? My intuition tells me that it should have gone wrong, but it didn't. I'm now also backed into a corner where I physically can't initiate contact/intimacy without being drunk/tipsy since that's how i've been conditioned. I've done everything there is to do sexually when drunk, but when sober, I haven't even kissed a girl. Sad huh.
Tearing my hair out here, and just wanted to sound off a bit.