I entered an inpatient treatment program for alcoholism on April fools day of 2001, and have been sober since. I followed the AA program for almost 2 years before I got preg with my twins. I had chronic all over pain before I quit drinking, and I was treating it with the alcohol. The pain has not stopped and has only gotten worse, especially about 2 years after the twins were born. I think caring for them full time took my mind off the pain. I am on an antidepressant (Wellbutrin), and Neurontin, a thyroid medication, and a blood pressure med for my chronic migraines, and 10mg of Vicodin 3 times a day. I am using my vicodin properly, and some days I only take 2 instead of the 3 I am allowed.
But I dont know that my pain is the biggest problem, Right now it is the depression. It has gotten worse and worse since I quit drinking. I really thought that 10 years after quitting, I would feel better. My husband and I used to be really close, but now I cant fall asleep, and hurt all the time. My headaches never stop. I have made great progress in tapering down my pain meds... My rhuematologist had me on tramadol 2 tabs 3 times a day, and the vicodin 10 mg 1 tab 2 x day, and the neurontin and zanaflex, plus the wellbutrin and the thyroid med. I am on disability due to pain, fibromyalgia, migraines, IBS, arthritis in my hands and neck... and more.
I have zero energy most of the time, my libido is gone, and my husband thinks I dont like him anymore. I dont understand how people can go from drinking like crazy to having energy and being happy, and sleeping normally, and holding down a job. My pain has gotten so bad since I quit, I have been patiently waiting for it to get better, but I guess I need to be re-evaluated... again, for the um-teenth time. I feel like I am annoying my doctor and I dont really know what she can do...
Any advice on depression after quitting drinking. Should it get better on its own, or is it likely to get worse? or am I destined to be unhappy and full of anxiety and sadness all the time?
Oh... and probably what has put me over the top is my son turned 21 on Sept 10th and then on the 17th he left for the Army. I havent talked to him in a week, and am tearing up just writing about him being gone. I was having pretty nasty depression symptoms before he left and now, I just want to feel the way I used to before my son left and before my husband and I drifted apart. I have a 13 yr old daughter and 9 yr old identical twin girls. I cannot do what I used to for them.
I am going to sched and apt with my doc hopefully she can see me by friday. Until then, I hope to hear from some of you. Maybey you have some suggestions on how to cope. Exercise is not a option, it makes everything so much worse. Right now, am just trying to smile instead of scowl, and think about how I say something before I say it. Alot of what I do makes my family feel bad, and my intention is not to hurt anyones feelings, but it happens...
I think I rambled enough, sorry if I jumped all over the place. I hope you can make sense of this.
Thanks in advance, Linda
