Originally Posted by Music
Cadence, you don't understand. You're enabling him just by being there. It's not that he doesn't understand, he doesn't care! His relationship with you takes a back seat to his relationship with alcohol. The only person you need to learn to trust is yourself and that you can save yourself a whole lot of emotional pain by cutting him loose until/unless he gets sober.
I never considered being there as enabling but, yes, I guess as long as I'm there I'm saying it's "OK" (and it's NOT). I do understand that he doesn't care -
he's made it incredibly clear on too many occassions.
I recently cut him loose (see previous post). Needless to say, I'm hoping it makes a difference but I doubt it will - I'm not the first woman he's cared about who has left because of his drinking, no doubt I won't be the last. He doesn't expect any relationship to last and now I understand why.