I found out in the middle of the night that one of my paternal aunts passed away last week. She lives in another state and we haven't talked in years. She did call me to congratulate me for passing the bar. That was probably the last time I talked to her. I'll always remember how funny and outgoing she was.
She died from liver complications/failure. She was an addict/alcoholic. She has three beautiful adult daughters and grandchildren. She and her husband divorced when I was young and he got custody of the girls. I remember thinking how strange that was....that the dad would get custody (I was in grade school). Of course, I had no idea then what kind of life she was involved in. Her sister is also an alcoholic. I'm just waiting for her to die. Please keep my aunt, her daughters, and our family in your prayers (and my mom because they were close when they were younger).
I went to see my therapist today. She's great! I just love her. She is so patient with me and I never feel like she's judging me for making stupid mistakes. I told her about you all and how helpful you've been with teaching me about setting boundaries and relying on my own feelings. She said she thinks you all are helping a lot and she can see a change in me.
I decided to cave to my own nagging and check up on AH and his drug screens. I was going to do this last week but he hadn't added me as an authorized person yet. So, today I found out that he tested positive for oxy just last week!!!!!!
I sat out in the parking lot of the clinic and sent him, his family, and the professor/friend a group text. I told them that I love them all but that I will not, nor will I allow my children to live with an active addict and he needs to be out of the house today. I of course also told them that I got his drug screen results and I know he tested positive last week.
In the past, I would have talked to him (yelled at him) first. Or, I would have gotten some of his family members on my side by tattling on him, then we would have confronted him. It would have been hard for me to pick which one because his parents are on vacation and I'd feel guilty about ruining it for them. So I'd go to one of his sisters. I wouldn't tell both of them, because why ruin two days? BUT, today, I sent it to all of them. They should all know the truth. I guess it's like I'm giving him back to them.
So, none of his family members have contacted me back but that's ok. He's contacted me via text with anger and suprise and suicide threats. He said it was just one percocet (that he did not have a prescription for). First of all, I doubt it was a percocet and not an oxy, but it doesn't matter; he shouldn't have taken something he wasn't prescribed. He said I'm just looking for excuses to leave him. I told him I could just leave him; I don't have to have an excuse.
I then went to work and asked a long time friend/co-worker to please keep me accountable and when I have days when I'm wishy-washy and "forget" all the horrible things my children and I have been through because of him, to please remind me. She said she'd do this daily.
I feel like a burden has been lifted. I knew something was not right with him. I just wasn't to the point yet with myself where I was able to tell him to simply leave because I wasn't happy. I still needed proof. Hopefully, he'll be out of the house when I get home.