I have come to realize through my own research and working with others
in recovery that ALL humans have good and evil in them. However, with
most, during their formative years, they are 'civilized' so to speak and
learn how to interact with others, work, etc
Now when alcohol and/or drugs are thrown into the scenario, a chemical
is introduced to the person's body, a chemical that reduces the person's
ability to 'think and act' rationally. Inhibitions are removed, and then
one can see the 'evil' side of a human being.
Remember, it has only been 35,000 years, a nano second really in the
over all age of this planet, that man started walking upright and was
still very barbaric and animal like and had to FIGHT for their food and
everything.
Once of the worst places in my brain that I managed to fry the path
ways was in the front of my brain, the lobal something or other, where
man's choices, reasoning, conscientious, etc are. Yes, I grew new path-
ways over the years, but any one who knows me has heard me say
many many times:
"When I arrived at AA, I was an ANIMAL, there was not one shred of
human decency left, and those folks in AA re-civilized me from scratch."
This is very true for me. I had lived the last 1 1/2 years of my drinking
and using on the streets of Hollyweird, where it really was an attitude
of "kill or be killed". It was SURVIVAL in its rawest form. I had to
re learn how to function in society. As I stayed sober and clean and
worked on my recovery, the 'DEADNESS and FLATNESS' left my eyes,
there was life in them again and they eventually started to 'sparkle.'
Now there have been occurrences in my recovery years in the past,
when that 'stranger' has again been brought to the forefront, by an
act or action against one of my grandchildren or fur kids, when friends
have told me that something happens to me ......................... my
body posture changes, my words change, my eye go totally FLAT and
DEAD and I become someone that really frightens them. I can tell
you that when that has happened to me and I look at it in hindsight,
that I became very very ANGRY. I hear a ROAR in my ears, and I
literally see a RED haze. It is a RAGE that I have only felt 8 times in
31+ years of recovery, pure unadulterated RAGE and it is AWFUL! I
have not felt that now in the 14 years.
So, all the above, lol to say I believe that evil is in all of us, it is just
that when an A is in their practicing mode is when the Evil can be seen
by others.
J M H O
Love and hugs,