Originally Posted by Gabe
As mothers, it is our job, our duty to protect our children...when they are children.
I think the other part of this very difficult job is letting them go when they grow up.
Letting them go out there and do whatever it is they have to do.
Letting them know that we are confident that they can make it on their own.
Being supportive, yet expressing the belief that they have their wings and they can fly.
None of this is easy stuff.
None of it.
Gabe, I think you are right but what you say sounds to me like the 'normal' pattern of mother and child. When you are dealing with an addicted adult/child you are very aware that addicts do not 'grow up'. If they are 24, 34, 42, they can still be 'emotionally' 16.
They do not start to grow up again emotionally, shift into becoming true adults until they seek out recovery.
They often do not seek out recovery until AFTER we have had to let them go. It's not a normal cycle.
We still must follow that pattern, the letting them go, the being supportive, expressing the belief they can handle their own lives. We have to have 'faith' they can make it on their own, because it's too difficult to have 'confidence'.
sigh