Parents on Different Pages
For those of you who have read my previous posts you know that my son is a 21yo alcoholic. He recently decided to drop two classes at school and move graduation date from December to May of next year. Also, he is seeing a private counselor and going to AA. He stayed sober over the weekend and truth is my house was relatively peaceful although much of that had to do with me stating my boundaries and walking away.
I am coming to terms with how I feel thanks to this board and all the great resources. I feel better about my future and the future of my son if he chooses to follow through with his most recent choices of going to AA and the counselor. The problem is that my husband is angry. I have the most mild mannered easy going husband ever but right now he can't get past the turmoil and the financial impact son has made on our family. He is angry about AS dropping classes. He is angry about paying for the counselor. He is angry that AS seems to be doing as little as possible to get through this time in his life. My husband has never been a drinker and has NO sympathy for alcoholics. I lived it growing up so I'm a little more understanding that there is a difference between the person and the disease. My husband can't get past being disappointed in our son and is to the point that he doesn't even care to talk to him.
I want us to be on the same page. I want us to set boundaries for the house and let son know where the boundaries are. Husband seems to think it is a waste because in the past we would say things and never follow through but I am past that. My husband has even acknowledged how well I handled things this weekend but he is set on believing that within a week things will be back to where they were. I am changing and now husband needs to start changing so he can move forward too.
Today I actually have more conflict with my husband than my son. I can't force my husband to see or feel the way I do but I also don't want to listen to his 30 minute rant about son.