Hi Cadence, I know you are wanting answers here, but it is such an individual thing.
We all come to that realization on our own time schedule. Also unfortunately some never come to the realization that they have a probem/disease and die in active alcoholism.
Some hit bottom before more severe things happen, others bottoms are very extreme.
I know some say as long as our partners stay with us enabling us (in our minds accepting it) we will not get the needed help.
Hope this helps you
Diana