I found out about my husband's loooong drug and alcohol issues after I married him (dated him for 3 years, lived with him 6 months). I don't use drugs and hardly drink.
I developed a nice relationship with my mother-in-law during this time.
MY mother recently told me she was upset at HIS mother because she never gave me one clue about the problems I was going to face. I thought about it for a minute and realized that it wouldn't have mattered anyways. I wouldn't have listened.. and if I did.. I would have minimized the problem, never having been around drugs before... I did not have the capacity to understand the severity of what was in front of me. It would have only caused problems between her and her son and me... My husband later told me that he warned his mother, if she spoke one word to me about his issues, he would never speak to her again. Just my experience...