Trying to Understand
I'm asking the alcoholics here this question - it doesn't matter if you're in a program or not - active or not. I'm not a drinker (at all) but I'm trying to understand the disease as well as the effect it is having on me (and has had on me in the past - I am an ACoA as well as involved with an A).
When is enough *ENOUGH*?
When does it finally effect you -- hurt you -- to the point where you throw up your hands and give up - and allow a transformation to occur at your deepest level?
At what point do the consequences outweigh the benefits? What (and how much) do you have to loose before you realize how much you've lost, how much you've wasted and thrown away?
Or are these just MORE reasons to pop a top and down another?
It's a vicious cycle, isn't it? The pain, the sadness, the lies and excuses... All of those problems created by the alcohol and the alcoholic mentality lead to the the loss of self esteem and self respect. The chemical depressant (alcohol) combined with the depression brought on by the problems, lead to the urge to numb the pain with another beer.... which in turn creates yet MORE pain, MORE sadness, MORE lies, MORE betrayal, MORE problems MORE depression and MORE numbing with the chemical depressant... At what point will all that is good in you SEE and take responsibility for what this disease is doing and finally yell "STOP!!" and do whatever it takes to take recovery seriously and be sane and sober again?
I understand but, then again, I haven't a clue. I do know that the insanity has reached its apex in my life. I'm no longer willing to tolerate the stress and uncertainty that this disease has created in my life. It's unacceptable and unwelcome.