Ironic as it is I confronted him and he did nothing but put me down and act as if I had no right to feel sadness, betrayal, pain. I just have never experienced him to be so nasty to me. Confronting him(text because he won"t answer ) has left a lasting impression of how mean he can be and it's weird because he is apparently clean. I have no intentions of ever having contact with him again but meanwhile I need to find a way to let the pain go. I guess I could start by reading Co-Dependent no more. I just am so confused to how a clean addict could be so deceitful, heartless, and still playing the blame game to a woman that tried her best to be nothing but supportive for so long. I obviously no longer know who this person is.Thank you kindly for taking the time to read this and for any wisdom that you can offer.
You're assuming he's clean, and you have to make the distinction between not using and being in recovery. And it doesn't matter to him that you were "nothing but supportive" for as long as you were. Addicts, whether they are still using or abstaining but not in recovery, are like a big container with a hole in the bottom. You pour love, compassion, and support in, and it comes out of the bottom as quickly as you poured it in.
There is a sticky note on our home page about how to survive a breakup with an addict, so if you haven't had a chance, I'd read it. That and "What Addicts Do".
If you're serious about moving on with your life, you have to go No Contact. I'd block him on your phone, on Facebook, on email, on EVERYTHING. No games. You're going to be hurting for a while, and while that sucks and it's unfair, there are worse things...like still having him in your life.
Hang in there. You will get through this.
Best,
ZoSo