Yes it does seem like it's always about them. It's always about them when they are actively drinking, and it's always about them when they are in recovery, and it's always about them when they have been sober for several months. Alanon should give out chips to the partners. Since I have been alcoholic partner free for many many months now I can truly see how EVERYTHING was centered around the alcoholic and their behavior and the devastation they leave behind. It takes a while to work through the anger- especially the anger at myself for putting up with it for so long.