Originally Posted by Freyja

Thanks so much for sharing this with us. I am currently in a dead end loveless relationship that I am trying very hard to get out of. But I am so lost and my self esteem is so low that I keep handing on to him like he is going to save me or help me in some way. My fiance is a heroin addict and he keeps telling me that he is clean and that things are going to great as soon as he gets through this stage. I know it is ******** and I know he lies to me everytime he leaves this house or when he is late from work, but I dont know why I cant seem to let him go. For instance tonight he said he was going to his fathers (which is 10 minutes down the road) he said he was going to check on him and talk and hang out a little, his father is older and his mother died 10 years ago. So two hours had passed and I was getting concerened, not really I knew where he really went I just wanted some proof. So I gave his cell a ring and it went to voicemail. So I called his father and he said he was out to dinner with a friend and hadnt seen his son all day. That just gave me all the proof I needed that he was out scoring. Right now I want to tell him to pack his **** and get the **** out of my house, when he finally does return, but I'm going back and forth. Why do I do this. I need him to get out of my life I need to put him out of my life myself. Why is it that I cant come up with the courage to do this??? Someone tell me what is wrong with me??? I thought I was so much stronger then this, he is a weight, he drains me emotionally, finacially and spiritually. Someone give me some advice, some push, some something. I know I need to get rid of him, but I cant seem to do it.