I decided to join this board and write down my experiences because of something very scary and upsetting that happened to me last week.
I gave up drinking for a month when I left university because I realised that alcohol wasn't doing anything positive in my life. So far, so good. It was hard at times but I managed it. After a month my boyfriend suddenly dumped me with no warning and I started drinking again to deal with the unhappiness.
Last week I went to an evening event where there was alcohol. I was with some friendly people but not close friends who could keep an eye on me. What happened next was really stupid of me. I had two large glasses of wine quite quickly. Surprisingly - or perhaps not since I'm on antidepressants? - I totally blacked out between 9pm and 2am. I remember ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Even with prompting, not a single memory has come back. It's a complete black hole. I did apparently call and text a couple of friends though, according to my phone history. They said I sounded very drunk but not totally legless.
The last thing I remember is talking to a friend, and the next thing I remember is having sex with a stranger in a hotel room.
I was very confused for a few minutes and I thought he was someone else but then I realised he was a total random. When I realised what was happening I was really upset. He said that I had seemed up for it so he'd taken me to the nearest hotel room. I don't remember talking to him at the event. As far as I could remember, I had never even seen him before. I immediately called a friend and he came to get me. I got dressed and left as soon as I could.
Was it rape? I'm going to see a rape counsellor next week. My mum blamed me for getting drunk, and I kind of agree with her. I know I shouldn't have drunk so much but I'm really angry with the guy too. Surely I must have looked drunk? Did he give me more alcohol? I feel really taken advantage of. I wonder whether I should have called the police as soon as I 'came to'.
I'd be very grateful for any advice or support.