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Blacked out and woke up having sex with a stranger

Old 09-23-2012, 04:57 PM
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Unhappy Blacked out and woke up having sex with a stranger

I decided to join this board and write down my experiences because of something very scary and upsetting that happened to me last week.

I gave up drinking for a month when I left university because I realised that alcohol wasn't doing anything positive in my life. So far, so good. It was hard at times but I managed it. After a month my boyfriend suddenly dumped me with no warning and I started drinking again to deal with the unhappiness.

Last week I went to an evening event where there was alcohol. I was with some friendly people but not close friends who could keep an eye on me. What happened next was really stupid of me. I had two large glasses of wine quite quickly. Surprisingly - or perhaps not since I'm on antidepressants? - I totally blacked out between 9pm and 2am. I remember ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Even with prompting, not a single memory has come back. It's a complete black hole. I did apparently call and text a couple of friends though, according to my phone history. They said I sounded very drunk but not totally legless.

The last thing I remember is talking to a friend, and the next thing I remember is having sex with a stranger in a hotel room. I was very confused for a few minutes and I thought he was someone else but then I realised he was a total random. When I realised what was happening I was really upset. He said that I had seemed up for it so he'd taken me to the nearest hotel room. I don't remember talking to him at the event. As far as I could remember, I had never even seen him before. I immediately called a friend and he came to get me. I got dressed and left as soon as I could.

Was it rape? I'm going to see a rape counsellor next week. My mum blamed me for getting drunk, and I kind of agree with her. I know I shouldn't have drunk so much but I'm really angry with the guy too. Surely I must have looked drunk? Did he give me more alcohol? I feel really taken advantage of. I wonder whether I should have called the police as soon as I 'came to'.

I'd be very grateful for any advice or support.
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Old 09-23-2012, 05:03 PM
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i can't tell you if it's rape or not but it sure is a glaring sign that alcohol is paying a very detrimental role in your life and you need to start taking the necessary steps to get your life back. are you ready to admit your an alcoholic and take those steps? are you ready to seek help and do the hard work? we can help you and support you but it's up to you to do the footwork.
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Old 09-23-2012, 05:06 PM
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Hi KC, I am so sorry for what happened to you. Definitely see a councilor, Its hard to know what really happened. I also had blackouts while drinking, its a horrible feeling. I had to give up alcohol & my life is much better for it.

Others will be along to help out, I just wanted to welcome you to SR, stay close & keep posting. There are lots of great people here

Take Care - NB
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Old 09-23-2012, 05:17 PM
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((((HUGS)))) I'm so sorry you went through that. I'm sure it was horrifying. While it's impossible to know if what happened to you could be considered rape, it is possible you were taken advantage of. When someone is in blackout, they appear to be drunk, but still somewhat in control. It is also possible that someone slipped something into your drink if you only had two glasses of wine but have no recollection of what happened to you.

In any case, I hope this will be a wake up call for you. Alcohol is not your friend. While it may make you feel more social, it can also lead to things such as what happened to you. Maybe you should consider quitting drinking for good. You will receive a lot of support here.
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Old 09-23-2012, 05:39 PM
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I'm really sorry this happened to you and I sure hope you make sure that it doesn't happen again. I had blackouts when I drank too, and it's the most scary thing ever.

I don't know if it was rape, and I know when I was blacked out, I was still 'functioning' - very scary. He probably took advantage of you, but may not have been aware how helpless you were. Who knows?

Do talk to a counsellor if you can.
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Old 09-23-2012, 06:11 PM
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I echo the jist of the other posts. I just want to add please go to a doctor or nurse practitioner as soon as possible to be checked for stds and pregnancy. You have no idea what you were doing for up to 5 hours. This is very important. Please do this. And you may never know what happened, but, what you have control over is taking care of yourself and this includes taking charge of your life so it never happens again. You can do it. And you must. Then let us know how you are doing. We care.
Hugs, EQ
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Old 09-23-2012, 06:34 PM
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kc...I'm so sorry for what happened to you. Listen to the wise words of our most informed members for this one. I'm too new in my sobriety for any real, solid advice but I put the question out there because I want to know the answer myself.

To the group: Is it really possible to blackout after 2 glasses of wine? I've had blackouts before but always during some serious drinking sessions. It scares the bejesus out of me that it could have happened after only a few. I am counting my blessings right now and also sending much love, support and kindness to you kc
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Old 09-23-2012, 07:10 PM
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KC:

I am sorry for what happened to you. I can only imagine how you must feel right now. Please put those feelings to a positive use and address the root issue that led to an awful experience.

IWW...in answer to your question, yes, two drinks can lead to a black out. It happened to me when I was on 1 mg. of klonopin and had one drink at home and then two glasses of red wine with dinner a few hours later. I blacked out for what I guess was 20 minutes.
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Old 09-23-2012, 08:00 PM
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Talk to your Dr. You could have had alcohol interacting with your anti-depressants. In any event alcohol is causing you some problems and if you want to quit, SR is a great resource.
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Old 09-23-2012, 08:30 PM
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I'm so sorry, I hope you do talk to your Dr.

I need to do the same thing, maybe not for the same situation as you, but ultimately for the same root cause: alcohol.

Wishing you all the best. Please know you're not alone. It's helped me immensly just in the last 24 hours that I have started posting knowing I'm not alone.
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Old 09-23-2012, 08:41 PM
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I don't know a lot about Rohypnol, but maybe is it possible someone slipped you a roofie? Just a thought. I'm sorry, too...that's very scary. If you decide to quit drinking, SR is a great site full of support and information. Hugs.
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Old 09-24-2012, 01:46 AM
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I hope you can reconcile what has happened to you, and you can find a way that works for you.

My thoughts are with you
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Old 09-25-2012, 12:31 PM
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Hi everyone,

I want to thank you all for your very caring replies. You really helped me feel better and I'm now thinking about the 'incident' much less - though I still plan to see a counsellor and my GP soon. I've blacked out before (too many times...) but never after 2 glasses of wine. Still, I think it was unlikely I was roofied. Drinking quickly, on an empty stomach, while on antidepressants could cause it I suppose...

I know I need to give up drinking but I just can't do it right now. This is not least because I have a debilitating sleep disorder and alcohol is the only thing which helps me with the overwhelming sleepiness and allows me to get some work done (very difficult, I know!). Excuses, excuses... but that's the reality. I have however cleared out all the alcohol from the house and haven't bought any more, which is a start.

Thanks everyone! I'll keep you updated.
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Old 09-25-2012, 02:14 PM
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Originally Posted by kc72 View Post

I have a debilitating sleep disorder and alcohol is the only thing which helps me with the overwhelming sleepiness and allows me to get some work done

.
Is alcohol one of the recommended treatments for this condition? I really didn't factor into my thinking about and use of alcohol is that it is addictive, and our capacity for control gets less over time.

I hope things will turn out alright but do you think you will be able to avoid such situations in the future if you continue to drink?
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Old 09-25-2012, 03:03 PM
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No, it's not. But I've found that alcohol is the only thing that helps after years of seeing specialist consultants and being prescribed the latest cutting-edge drugs which don't work. I know that alcohol isn't the answer, and I really want to find some kind of long-term solution to my sleep disorder, but often I get so sleepy that it's hard to resist having a drink.
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Old 09-25-2012, 03:30 PM
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I'm so sorry for what happened to you kc Like some of the others said, you should go to the doc just to make sure your health is still intact..I understand about not being able to give it up just yet, you have gone through a traumatic event recently.& it's understandable.. just try to take care of your health and safety if you do feel you absolutely have to..*hugs*
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Old 09-25-2012, 04:49 PM
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I can see how alcohol might help you fall asleep (but normally the sleep is not high quality sleep at all) or maybe how it might wake you up initially (but not for long) but I can't see it as part of a successful treatment for any disorder, and doubt a doctor would recommend this plan. I don't know what kind of job you have, but if you can only work while drinking that doesn't sound good either.

If you have trouble sleeping there are more natural ways to try to get there. If you're always tired, alcohol is a depressant and may be part of your sleep disorder in the first place, especially if you're mixing it with prescription drugs.
Would coffee or tea work instead of alcohol?

It's fine if you're not ready to quit yet, but if your main reason is that it's for medicinal purposes I think there's denial going on and it may come back to bite you. Try to spend some time here and see if you can relate to some of the stories and experiences-it's a great place.
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Old 09-25-2012, 06:22 PM
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Hi kc -

One of the reasons I started drinking was to help with insomnia. A few beers would relax me and help me get to sleep. After doing that for a while, though, alcohol seemed to have the reverse effect. Drinking would give me more energy. At the same time, I was dragging myself through the day. I didn't realize I was making things worse until I got sober and started reading about it.

Were you drinking at all during the time when you saw the specialists? It does take some time for our brains to adjust after we stop drinking and it often gets worse for a week or two before it starts to get better.
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Old 09-25-2012, 06:59 PM
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kc, I used to believe it helped me sleep too. But after awhile I would drink too much and end up waking up every hour..feeling like poop and hungover. I have had long sobriety stints before and that was the best sleep I ever had. I hope you feel better soon
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Old 09-25-2012, 07:40 PM
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Wow, I hope you are doing ok, kc. It sounds like you had a very frightening experience, all the more so considering it happened after only 2 glasses of wine.

I would strongly encourage you to think about how you will prevent this kind of thing from happening to you in the future, especially if you plan to keep drinking.

I'm only on day 18 of sobriety right now so I certainly don't have all the answers (or any answers, really), but as someone who rationalized myself right back into drinking last year after 8 months sober, I do know a thing or two about denial. It can be a crazy thing, the things our addictive voices will tell us in order to keep us using.

You might want to consider whether alcohol is truly the best treatment for your sleep disorder, or whether you might simply be using that as an excuse to rationalize your continued use of it.
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