Welcome back meso.
I have to say I noticed that in your threads you often feel people are against you. I always felt no one liked me. So used that as an excuse to absolutely obliterate myself. Both drugs and alcohol. But they didn't. It was my way of hurting myself.
I want you to know that SR for me has been the most incredible collective of people that want nothing more than for all of us to be what we want to be and should be. So stick around this time. No one here is out for you.
It's no joke is right. It takes great humility for anyone of us to come here and admit what we do. What we did. How we treated others.
Your posting also shows humility. But remaining humble before what we cannot change is what's needed. Nothing less will do.
Glad you are back.
K