You won't be able to crawl out from your depression until you stop drinking. You have to make NOT drinking #1, then you will have a clearer and stronger mind.
Your Mom sounds so unsupportive and rather unpleasant too. Ask your therapist what the logistics are in checking into inpatient, drying out, then grabbing onto a program that sounds like it suits your personality and mind-set.
Do it. Now.
Pam