Florence, I truly understand how you feel. Although, you sound stronger than I am at this point. I let my boundary be trampled on this week. I caught AH hiding his empties, literally red-handed that he couldn't deny and yet I didn't hold my boundary. 2 weeks ago he blasted me for 'always presuming guilt' and not trusting him and now we're back in relapse mode.
You are strong, you will get through this. There's nothing written in stone that says you have to make a decision today. I have been doing the same thing, praying for God to show me a sign whether AH was just blowing smoke or if he was actually done drinking. And, yes, I got my sign. Still not sure what I'm going to do about it. I know the SR folks here will support you no matter what you decide. Sending you lots of support today!