Originally Posted by
abandonedluv 
...I'd just like to hear from some recovered members. I want some real insight. Not just "forget about him he doesnt care about you". Not 'judgy' posts about how dumb I am to still be thinking of him....I am moving on the best I can right now. Seeking help outside myself and taking care of me. But for now, I am still wanting answers in my moments of weakness.
When I was drinking, what I wanted and what I needed were 2 different things. The "real me" didn't stand a chance against the "drinking me" when it came to most of my behaviors. It was a like a Jeckle & Hide situation. I was truly ashamed of myself yet powerless to act otherwise once the booze was in me.
Try not to be too judgmental about the situation. Alcoholism does not make anymore sense to those who have it than to those who witness it.
There is still a chance that he will someday find permanent sobriety but the odds are against it so don't get your hopes up.