Originally Posted by
Miller05 
i am so glad i found this site because everyone always gives me a straight answer, no BS. when i first came here, i hated to hear the hard truth...but now i depend on it.
my husband as you all know...has cheated on me, did coke in the mancave behind my back, we had a DV incident...and oh yeah...he has abandoned me and the baby....havent heard a peep out of him in 3 weeks.
so, i put his ass out of this house...and am getting on with my life.
i keep reading on these boards about how all these husbands/wives, etc are trying so hard to "work things out" with the non-addicted partner. and everytime, i read the responses from SR saying..."run for the hills!!!" i am usually saying the same thing because of all my drama.
my question is....when do we NOT say that? when do you stay and try to do your part to save the relationship?
or, is the hard truth that you should always bail when you find out your significant other is an addict?
Tough question.
The best answer I can give you (and this is purely subjective) is you have to consult with your own moral compass, what's important to you, and what you're willing to tolerate. The track record your AH has accumulated speaks for itself.
One of the biggest lessons I've learned the hard way is you cannot compromise your values or your priorities for the sake of the addict, or for anyone for that matter. For you if you do, you tacitly give them permission to run over you. You have to stay firm to your beliefs, your values, and your morals. And if you do that, then making decisions on whether or not you allow the addict back in your life becomes clearer.
Best,
ZoSo