I was told to run in the beginning and I really now after all the years of work I did on me believe it wasn’t based on anything but the word heroin and out of fear, because of scars.
I have my deal breakers and they have nothing to do with drug use. Cheating, abuse are deal breakers and drug use has no baring on that. Actually I removed the addiction a long time ago as a curser to how I react or don’t.
I stayed, not a big deal. I stayed after writing a list weighing the choices to stay/go. I stayed because I couldn’t find a good enough reason maybe out of sickness, maybe not to make anything make sense at the time. Hell the to stay or go internal struggle was given to much time, was wasted time in my eyes for me, and a great distraction at times from working on myself. I stayed doing one extremely important thing from pretty much the beginning, constantly redirecting the focus back on me and why I was as I was … not why he was as he was.
I do not regret my decision at all. And because I am extremely self aware I know that my decision can change at any time, and could have throughout my journey. I knew that above and beyond the addiction that I needed to work on me, because I so wasn’t here by happenstance. None of us are, either we were already sick before ( and that counts for many in the madness) or allowed ourselves to become sick in it all. I was not right from before the fact. All that sick people attract other sick people.
Telling a person to run isn’t going to save them, it just removes the immediate danger they might be in in the moment and very little chaos because in many cases the chaos is self created….but in the end you like everyone else here will have to fix and save yourself. You could also ask how many ran and in time were in the same place again. You can run, based on what you shared you seem to need to, to give yourself the best chance, but that ain’t gonna fix a damn thing because the addicts in our lives are not our problem, we are, we will always be.
Find your why’s … save yourself.
There is also a big difference between just staying and staying and doing the work…
Just as there is a big difference from just leaving and leaving and doing the work…