She taught you how to treat yourself better but she treats you like crap? It doesn't sound like you're treating yourself very well right now, Change... I realize you've gone through some terrible times together but that doesn't give her a license to beat you down. And that doesn't negate your right to stand up for yourself.
How about if you encourage AA for yourself? You know you can't change her. We can't change anyone. We have to get sober for ourselves. What if you wait around waiting for her to be ready and that day never comes? Does that mean your sober day never comes either? That's not being very fair to yourself. It's down right scary.
We're here for you, Change!