Actually silly I didnt manage all that well before I met her. Even with all the drinking she has helped me come a long way in terms of drug usage and learning to like myself and treat myself better. Its the past year 1/2 that the dynamics of relationship changed. it didnt help that her son was killed. we both lost it, shes never been the same. The death of her son is one of the reasons we clung to each other so much. We miss him so much her family is in another state each other was all we had and we held tight. I kept encouraging grief counseling, but we never went. I encouraged AA, but she thinks she doesnt need it and that I am the only one with a problem.