The no contact rule was when I started getting better and putting the focus on me and not the AH. We did not have children together so this was possible. I had to pray to get to that point to my HP. I was tired of my serenity being blown everyday by the AH whom I was legally seperated from. I would turn my phone off at 9pm every night so he couldn't "drunk dial" me. I got better. I could not change him. I could only change me. I got better. He didn't. I treated him as my drug and ran away.