Originally Posted by
leh22 
HI,
I've been trying to get sober since 2006. Been thru 3 outpatient programs and would really like to do a 30 day inpatient program but money and logistics just won't allow it. I got all the right meds from my doc today to quit: antabuse, naltrexone and a few xanax to get through the withdrawals - mainly anxiety for me. But, then I got home, fixed dinner, heard the kids arguing and opened a bottle of wine. Crap.
I know i am an alcoholic, but I want to still believe I can occassionally drink on trips or at celebratory moments. Does that mean I haven;t really accepted that I am alcoholic.? Been to AA, got a sponsor but just don't keep with it. I am afraid it will take a DUI or other stupid incident to make me stop and I really don't want that.
I guess I am really suprised at how hard this is and how much harder quitting is getting. The most days sober I have had is 69 total from April to June of this year. Any and all advice welcome.....
LEH22
welcome to the site!
if you have been to AA then i assume you have the big book? has your sponsor taken you through it? what i read from you is mentioned in the chapter" more about alcoholism."
i had admitted i was an alcoholic long before i got into AA, but i just couldnt figger out why i couldnt stop drinking. it was because i dodnt know what it meant to be an alcoholic. the big book taught me what it meant, and i fit the bill.
the 1st step isnt about admitting or accepting we are alcoholics. it is admitting we are powerless over alcohol.