Jaz, Kelle, so happy to hear you both feeling more positive and determined than ever - I know you won't let a slip ruin your whole weekend.
WWG, glad to hear you have made some weekend plans. And I second SlimSlim's cookie idea; my mom used to wash our hands, stick a bowl in front of us, and add the ingredients for us to moosh together - loved it!! Mind, I used to eat the dough when she wasn't looking, so if you're worried about salmonella you might want to try an egg-free recipe. Or just pick up some cookies and some pre-made icing. Just as much fun!
I got a chuckle out of reading the posts about drinking dreams...I've had those too. Mine included me hiding the bottles! I woke up in a panic, and even checked my usual hiding places to reassure myself it really was just a dream. And that would've been a "well-behaved" drunk night...Potent reminder of how much stress drinking was adding to my life!
SFMS, I feel I can relate to the feeling of having a cloud hanging over one's head. Sometimes, I feel I'll never escape all the shame, regrets, and the "giving in" that's plagued me all along. I'm relieved to hear you're feeling stronger! I think we just have to wait until we've distanced ourselves enough and put enough days between now and the last time we disappointed ourselves before we start to feel better consistently. The interim is upleasant, though. Very unpleasant.
DeepBreath, there seemed to be a lot of pain in your post. I don't know who's giving you "conditional love" and it breaks my heart. Here at least, we all love you. Unconditionally. I hope YOU love YOU, unconditionally. What is beautiful about you? Something you know yourself, or maybe something others have told you. Can you think of that today?
Thinking of you all today!