Big hugs to you, SFMS...I'm sorry you're having a terrible time of it today. the fear of losing our loved ones is enormous and can be crippling..but it doesn't have to be. Have you done any mindful/meditation exercises? Something as simple as breathing in and out, and really paying attention to each breath can bring you back to the present moment. At this particular moment, you have your beloved dog and toddler and you're here, on SR, with a community that cares about you. The future may very well bring hurtful events--it may also bring wonderful events. But it isn't here yet. It sounds corny, but I think we really only have the present and the rest--it can drive you crazy!
Sorry, Dee, I took my own advice and went to bed early last night before seeing your question. I'm seeing my therapist for anxiety problems. She does specialize in gambling addictions, which has been helpful since that's my mom's personal demon. Not mine, though...gambling has no appeal for me. In fact, I would go the bars while she would gamble. No surprise there! I am planning to go back to a therapist I saw several years ago who did help me quit drinking back then.
I'm with you, JimUK...Day 12! Woke up feeling kind of crummy, though, and it almost made me laugh. Felt nauseous, and remembered I didn't have dinner. Just didn't want to eat. Now I'm realizing I must've had a touch of food poisoning or some other subtle tummy upset. All this without a drop of wine! It's a good reminder that regular (sober) life has good days and bad days. Sick days and well days. And to try to just go with it. Not blame myself or punish myself, but take it easy and go gentle on myself. And drink lots of fizzy water...