Sapling,
The counselors tossed and turned over my treatment plan...before I spoke last night my group counselor told me that they weren't sure exactly what treatment plan to give me.
I'm guessing since I haven't been in trouble with the law, have no major
anger issues, I checked
myself in, I'm passive aggressive, etc... After revealing "my secrets", co-dependence, people pleasing, nonconfrontational, resentful self, she said they just may change my teatment plan to "Resentments".
I am half way there already with The 12 Step Program. They want me to go to meetings at least 2x a week (I am going to 3 or more), find a sponsor (I have one), Have a BB (got it, been reading it.) What I don't have is being able to identify the basics of the 12 steps and practice these on a daily basis. I agree with you, I need my sponsor to help me with these...unfortunately she is on vacation for another week.
When I first started going to AA the 12 Steps, overwhelmed me, especially the Spiritual Aspects of it. Alot of my resentments and issues come from a religious nature. I believe in a HP, but I have to get to know him all over again and in a way I never knew him before. There was a time when I believed I was serving him...But as it turned out I was only serving people, trying to please them, (thinking I was pleasing God also) I lost my relationship with my HP in the process.
For me the 12 steps are going to be a long process, and I'm willing to accept it. But alot of issues have to be worked thru before I can MASTER many of them.
In my desperation to remain sober, I am determined to do what I have to do. I already know it's going to be tough, (I knew it when I began), I'm ready to take my medication even if I don't like the way it's going to taste
I'm just grateful I can come here to weep and mourn when I need to.
Thank you again!