Originally Posted by
dandylion 
I think the idea is so prevalent that alcoholism is the only problem in the relationship--and if "they" would just stop drinking, all would be well.
Many marriages don't work out---even when there is no addiction.
You mentioned that your wife has untreated bulimia. This (to me) suggests that the current situation is only the tip of the iceberg.
A LOT is going to unfold over time. I sincerely believe that the best thing you can do is to begin attending alanon and seek out a therapist for YOU. You are in for a ride.....hang on baby!
100% right on all three points (bolded). You also may (or may not) consider texting her the thoughts about why remaining at home may be less stressful. She'll have your text to do with it whatever she wishes (pitch, keep, forget, consider, reply, etc), and at least she'll have had the opportunity to consider it. Texting isn't as emotionally compelling as you telling her face-to-face.
We may never be able to understand the alcoholic/addict mind, and we'll certainly never be able to control it, but by going through this kind of dialogue and thinking we'll at least have better understanding of why so many things happen around them and why it is so insane in their brain (think compassion & detachment with love).
From Anorexics/Bulimics Anonymous as to addiction switching:
The Iceberg Theory.jpg