So you are all saying I just . . . what - not try to get him to stay home and spend time with the kids? Let him come home, make a mess, not clean it up, go out with is friends and not be a father?
When he is around, since he started taking SRI's for his "anger issues" (which I am now thinking are side-effects, and wondering if he is also taking Oxy), he is good with the kids. He plays with them and he does take them to the park and stuff like that. Except for the last two weeks though, he hadn’t done that for quite some time, looking back now.
We were tied up with selling our house, having showings every weekend and having to get out of the house. He had taken a second job on the weekends to help make ends meet until the house sold. The first weekend he worked he made quite a lot of money the second weekend less, and then even less weekend for months. He told me he was making enough to cover his gas, and buy cigarettes for the week. Maybe he was still making really good money and just lying. ...
I hate not being able to trust him.
I hate the things that set him off and get him yelling at me. I hate not knowing if what I am about to say will change his mood. My father was like that - but my father wasn’t an addict, just a control freak LOL I never did know when to stop and always had to push just a little more until I got yelled at. I haven’t changed either. I can't keep my comments to myself when AH is doing something that makes me so angry! I guess I figure that he's going to end up in a bad mood about something anyways and I may as well vent my frustration and hope that something of what I say gets into his head, rather than keep quiet and have nothing change.
Nothing changes anyways. . Or does it?
I mean, two weekends ago I told him to pack his stuff and go if that's what he wanted, if his pot was more important than me and the kids, then just go. I meant it. He has started threatening me with a divorce when I really ride him about his attitude and habits. I told him I was tired of being threatened and I wasn’t taking it any more. Since then he has been nothing but nice to me and to the kids. He hadn’t yelled once I don’t think. Not even when the kids have been tired and whining and not helping to get ready for bed etc. The kids crying (or anyone crying really) usually sets him off.
I don’t know what to say about that. .... Is it a good sign that he has been watching his P''s and Q's?