to L2L re: What makes me think I'm a codie?
Hi L2L...I've read lots of your posts...thanks for that. I've learned so much from all of you.
I posted on another thread before I introduced myself here. I posted a quote from a friend (of a friend) of mine who is 23yrs sober and who I've been recently confiding to and asking advice from as I've been trying to wrap my head around the whole concept of codependency and he offered this:
"Feelings can be our downfall, and feelings are not facts....feelings change, facts are constant. Do not over analyze, being co-dependent is no more than trying to live/improve someones life who is not helping themselves. Making excuses, changing plans, foregoing our own needs for the bent ones of the dependent. Not a dirty word or concept, just a brick wall unless we change tact."
What he said made sense to me. As per my post, since I've moved, I'm feeling particularly vulnerable and lonely. For me, I think those emotions are what pushed me over the edge into codie-dom. Suddenly I was willing to make excuses, change plans, and forego my own plans to accommodate my AFWB's needs.
As I said in my OP, I have only given y'all a bare bones description of how and why I got here at SR. I can look back and see that my descent into codie-dom was likely more gradual than my brief description.
Does that shed more light on to why I think I'm a codie?
Again, thanks to everyone for sharing their stories and experiences. It has meant a lot to me.
Good Roads,
Chick