I also treated my husband terribly when I was drunk and lashed out at him a few times. I feel sick just thinking about it.
I understand how you're feeling, but it's time to forget what you've done to your boyfriend for now. Feeling guilty and being negative towards ourselves really don't help when we're trying to get sober. It's time to believe in yourself, feel good about yourself and commit to being sober, if that is what you want. Wanting it and believing that you can do it are key in giving up alcohol.
Welcome to SR. You'll find this to be a fantastic place, full of support and encouragement.
All the best to you.