I always thought about stopping drinkig, especially most recently after i would be argumentative and mean to my boyfriend, who I love dearly. He said he always knew I was a mean drunk, I had no idea it was that bad. Two nights ago I went out, was completely obliterated, and them started an argument and hit him while we were in bed and I was on top off him. Because of my drinking, I have now lost someone I imagined a life with, marriage, kids, everything. I have spoke to my sister, who said I need to not drink at all, she doesnt drink because at one point she hit her ex (he also had a problem) and slit her wrists. She is now very happily married, successful and doesnt drink. My Dad was a alcoholic when my sister was a baby too. Our Mom stayed with him and he hasnt drank since, they have been marries 34 years and he is an amazing man.
My boyfriend has broken up with me. I have told him I am not drinking anymore whether or not we stay together and am making big changes, and I want him to believe in me and see what I really am and can be. He is done, understandably so. Usually after a break up I would go out and drink with friends, not happening. I was so ashamed to look at him and confess I have a problem. How do I become so horrible when I drink? Sober I am not hat at all, in fact he would say how much he loves my good heart. I fee the lowest of low, how could I hit him? And losing him is killing me. I hurt someone I love because of drinking. I wish he would stay and support me, I would work to get trust
back. I have never felt like this. Havent ate since Saturday, night, feel so lost and broken.