I don't know about "phrases". I finally got to the point where I understood that I wasn't going to say anything that would have any impact on his choice to drink.
Now I say what I mean and mean what I say. When I say something, it's not open for debate. I'm not saying it to find out his opinion or to get him to change. I'm saying it because I am letting him know what I know - for sure.
I try not to say anything in the "heat of the moment". I never have a serious conversation with him when he's drunk. And, when I inform him of a decision I've made or something I have learned, I say it once and I mean it.
He definitely understands that something has changed with me. He will act on that in whatever way he chooses.
L