The last 3 years have been a nightmare with my RAH and my codependency. I have been on SR, to drug counselors, court systems, lawyers offices, NA, naranon, alanon, 4 marriage counselors, thousands of dollars, millions of tears and sleepless nights!
I am tired!!! I am SICK of addiction. I'm sick of reading about it, talking about it, hearing about it, seeing it, looking for it, being suspicious about it. I want to bury my head in the sand . . . I don't ever want to read another article and see the pain in peoples post about how this horrible disease is tearing up someone’s life. I don't want to hear someone laugh or joke about having a good time getting wasted or getting high.
I am heartbroken that this has happened in my family. I try and educate myself in every possible way to make myself a better person. Go to meetings and read to work on my codependency. I set boundaries and try to do all the things I have learned to better my life.
Everyone in a while though it hits me like a ton of bricks. This is a hard road to be on. Dealing with addiction, recovery, codependency, all the emotions and drama this all causes is sometimes just unbearable.
Someday’s I want to pack up my things, grab my son and just walk out the door. Start a new life and try and forget about my husband and the residue left from his active addiction. Maybe I'm just having a pity party and I need to snap out of it uugggg
Does anyone else have days like this? I feel alittle crazy about it sometimes . . my RAH has 1 year clean and I still feel very stuck in the hurt and anger.
What do you do to get out of the funk on days like this?
I could use some encouraging words about now
