Hi Pippo
I get feeling guilty and remorseful - especially when this house thing is stressful and your husband has some resentment about it.
I don't see any other way to go but forward tho..we can't erase the past or change it.
I think the very fact you're thinking about this stuff is a pretty good indicator that you don't want to repeat past mistakes
I understand it's hard to forgive yourself. I think it's a process tho, not an event. Try to focus on the now, perhaps?
I hope the renovating goes smoothly, the house sale is quick, and that the stresses subside and things can relax on all fronts soon.
In the meantime - remember balance. Try to listen to what you need and try not to be overwhelmed. The house is important but your sobriety is a priority.
D