Thank You Thank You all, I feel understood. I didn't realize I had responses, OMG Oh the abandonment. It was my computer I think :>). Your words make a lot of sense to me. It's so hard when you are new..I want to do the right thing..I'm understand I'm young but my sobriety means so much to me. I didn't matter in my family (oldest of 5), father raging alcholic and my mother who for her survival made me a parent. So I'm used to being cast aside, you know me needs don't matter. This is how I felt after the meeting a dual in my head. Ok suck it up ...no something is wrong here. thank you