I had the exact same thoughts... I wondered for YEARS if I was being too picky, too demanding, too critical... too unrealistic. Didn't help that I had my XAH TELLING me that I was all those things!!!
So, before recovery... my life was like a limbo contest... how low could I go?!?! I kept lowering the bar on my expectations. I thought that "accepting life as-is" meant... you get what you get and you don't throw a fit!
That's not the case at all.
Acceptance means we see things as they are... and then we decide what WE do or don't do with it. Accepting my XAH AS-IS meant - seeing him, warts and all, and deciding if I wanted to live with that the rest of my life or not. Accepting DIDN'T equate to settling!! For me, acceptance set me free.
What I wanted for my life (my expectations!!) were NOT unreasonable... but expecting my XAH to meet them... that WAS unreasonable!! Sooo... in my case... it turns out that I had been shoving a round peg into a square hole all those years. My XAH just wasn't the ying for my yang
Phew... I felt soooo much better when I got to that point. It set us BOTH free. My anger at him subsided. And the best part... I got my self-worth back. I was worth more and deserved better treatment than I was getting... and now I'm free to go get it.
Thanks for letting me share!
Shannon