Illuminate,
I'd never thought of it in that way specifically. The only way I could make any sense of it was for my then wife and i to go on, overcome our problems and obstacles and create a long and good marriage in his honour. But that hasn't happened. My wedding band was always too big for my ring finger and I usually wore it on my middle. I had thought that perhaps once the divorce was done I'd have his name engraved on the inside and wear it again.
And of course attempting to get straight , if I could achieve that as a consequence of all of this, then that would make his flicker of a life mean something.
Thanks for your thoughts, I appreciate it.